Dr. Caroline Leaf's book "Who Switched Off My Brain: Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions is a big success. She and Dr. Daniel Amen (author of Change Your Brain, Change YOur Life)influenced my research for the biblically based book, "Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Emotions." Neuroscience backs up what the Holy Bible has said for over 3,000 years. There is no freedom without a change of mind.
Maybe it’s anger in the form of abuse, depression, or ongoing negative thoughts. It might be addiction or low-self esteem. What lies and wounds do you hide? What accusations do you wear as your identity? What temptations are you continually enslaved to?
Millions of women suffer with ongoing anxiety, fear, doubt, perfectionism, anger, and depression because of toxic thoughts and emotions. Research shows that at least 87 percent of illnesses can be attributed to our thought life. Our mind affects our whole being. Because emotions and behaviors involve a complex interplay between the heart, the mind, and the body, it benefits us to know how our mind is influenced and how our brain works.
Breaking the Cover Girl Mask gives you the tools to restart, restore, and refocus your spiritual super computer. Drawing from personal and ministerial experience, women’s pastor Kimberly Davidson will lead you on a life-changing journey where you will learn how to confront and heal harmful thought patterns and behavior.
Knowledge changes everything.By implementing R.E.S.I.S.T., you can experience true and powerful mind change, restoring the new mind and nature Christ died to give you. We cannot live the life God intended, a life of freedom and joy, without a change of mind. Meet God in the pages of this book.
Those who have read this say, “Every woman in every church needs to read this!” –(Sydney Nash, Stay at home mom, church and community volunteer). “Kim doesn’t sugar coat this subject. She is honest and transparent and out to bust many worldly falsehoods that lead to toxic thinking and behaviors.” (Ronnie Hansen, Marketing Manager).
This book is signed by the author and costs only $15 + s/h. Get your copy today at: http://www.olivebranchoutreach.com/shopping.htm
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Penny
I came across a story about a man that reached down & picked up a penny off the ground. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. A penny?? When asked why he picked it up:
I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him. Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!"
David wrote in Psalms 20:7-8: Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.
The next time you pick up a penny--read the words, "In God We Trust," and say, Yes, God, I get the message.
I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him. Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!"
David wrote in Psalms 20:7-8: Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.
The next time you pick up a penny--read the words, "In God We Trust," and say, Yes, God, I get the message.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Freedom through Forgiveness
Unforgiveness is guaranteed to hinder our growth because it plants roots of bitterness in our heart. It’s like pouring acid in us, a caustic substance that eats through our heart. Why is it so hard for us to “forgive and forget” the injuries of life?
God never promised any of us freedom from pain. We can begin to find happiness if we free our mind of resentment and bitterness—put the past behind and see the process as empowering. you can hold that person responsible, harbor hatred, and consequently, carry feelings of anger forever. Or you can begin healing when you chose to forgive. In order to heal, we must forgive again and again—the big wrongs and the little ones. The alternative is to hold on to hatred and bitterness, which eventually will hurt all our relationships. Give yourself grace.
Sheila Walsh wrote, “In my situation, as long as I was unwilling to let go and forgive, there was still a nail in my wrist, and every time I talked to someone about the situation, it cut in a little deeper." It is our responsibility to pull out that nail. Many people won’t choose to forgive. They live unhappy lives of bitterness and unforgiveness.
Dr. Gregory Jantz says, If the child of the past and the adult of the present are to integrate fully into the person of the future, there comes a time when both must release the hurts of the past. This doesn’t mean that you forget what has been done to you, but that you forgive those responsible, whether they deserve your forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is the final destination on your healing journey. The road that lies beyond is one of health.
What is your greatest battle with forgiveness?
What lack of forgiveness or bitterness is still attached to you?
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
God never promised any of us freedom from pain. We can begin to find happiness if we free our mind of resentment and bitterness—put the past behind and see the process as empowering. you can hold that person responsible, harbor hatred, and consequently, carry feelings of anger forever. Or you can begin healing when you chose to forgive. In order to heal, we must forgive again and again—the big wrongs and the little ones. The alternative is to hold on to hatred and bitterness, which eventually will hurt all our relationships. Give yourself grace.
Sheila Walsh wrote, “In my situation, as long as I was unwilling to let go and forgive, there was still a nail in my wrist, and every time I talked to someone about the situation, it cut in a little deeper." It is our responsibility to pull out that nail. Many people won’t choose to forgive. They live unhappy lives of bitterness and unforgiveness.
Dr. Gregory Jantz says, If the child of the past and the adult of the present are to integrate fully into the person of the future, there comes a time when both must release the hurts of the past. This doesn’t mean that you forget what has been done to you, but that you forgive those responsible, whether they deserve your forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is the final destination on your healing journey. The road that lies beyond is one of health.
What is your greatest battle with forgiveness?
What lack of forgiveness or bitterness is still attached to you?
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
My story: Saving Opheila
Ophelia, in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, illustrates the destructive forces affecting young women. Ophelia is a typical girl, footloose and fancy-free. But she loses herself in adolescence. She falls in love with Hamlet and lives only for his approval. She doesn’t have a relationship with God and the insight of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct her, so she lives merely to meet Hamlet’s and her father’s demands. Who she is, her value, is determined solely by their approval, and she is torn apart. She goes mad with grief. Elegantly dressed, tragically she drowns in a stream filled with flowers.
For twenty years I lived an Ophelia existence. I attempted to take control of my mind, yet I couldn’t conquer the addiction to food, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, and my promiscuous behavior. As a kid, our family moved quite a bit. The first move from America to London, England. I was teased by schoolmates because I didn’t fit into the culture. I was unlike them because I had an accent. I felt stupid because I needed a tutor. I was weird because my clothes were different. Weirdo! What I heard was, “You do not belong” and “You are not accepted.”
We moved back to America when I was twelve. Again I was weird and different, but now I was entering adolescence—the hurricane years. The pain of rejection became part of my normal thought process. I expected people not to like me. We moved several more times. I fell in with the wild crowd, feeling the pressure to fit in. I smoked cigarettes and tried alcohol and drugs. This group gave me a sense of belonging and a means to forget the rejection and losses.
Then I began to gravitate into a new world of worshipping celebrities and models. I believed the lie that to be popular you have to look like a model. Teen magazines say, Don’t worry about being good, worry about looking good and being socially accepted!
As a teen I pretty much turned off my God-given talents and gifts in search of the Western culture’s definition of ideal. I set my sights on being a super model.
When I announced this in my sixth-grade class, a few boys laughed, “Yeah, you’ll be a supermodel…for MAD Magazine.” Translation, You’re ugly. Give it up! I didn’t give it up. I’d do anything to be a beautiful super model or celebrity. And why not? In this culture celebrity and beauty has its rewards. This was the beginning of what I call the Cover Girl masquerade . . . and the spiral downwards began.
The spiral began innocently enough with a simple diet. My senior year in high school I lost fifteen pounds and looked remarkable. I received compliments and praise from my parents and friends…and I wanted more. I felt accepted and loved. I belong! Now I’ll be popular! The disordered eating thought process began in high school but exploded when I entered college and joined a sorority.
Before I knew it I was a full-blown bulimic, a disease that took over my life. I wish someone had said to me, “Great, you’re now a size six. There are a million other size sixes out there. What’s different about you? What is about you, Kimberly the person, that shines?” That would have stung a little, but hopefully have pointed me towards working on my inside. Instead, I worked tirelessly trying to conform to this culture’s image of the stick, thin woman.
As I grew into adulthood, my self-esteem continued to deteriorate. Clearly, by bingeing and purging I was self-medicating—the stress, anxieties, and pain. And then my body started desiring and needing the alcohol. Alcohol abuse usually leads to inappropriate sexual behavior. I couldn’t stop the promiscuity. I did what I thought I should do in order to be accepted. Again, I justified it. Everyone else is sleeping around. It was a way to fill the hole in my heart. But it only deepened the wounds of shame, humiliation, and abandonment.
I eventually got pregnant and chose to have an abortion—another demon o deal with. I had a major life choice to grapple with--to bring this baby to term, or abort it. There was no doubt in my mind that abortion was the answer. After all, I wasn’t married, I had an established lifestyle, and I would have brought embarrassment and shame upon my parents. When I chose abortion, I was really choosing to purge my baby, like the food I ate. I could clearly see that at that time in my life I didn’t value myself, so how could I value my baby’s life? You could say the monster bulimia took two innocent lives. After I had the abortion, I chose to bury this experience like a wrecked ship, on the bottom of an ocean.
Like Ophelia, I was in danger of drowning. It was beginning to look like a life or death situation. It was vital I be revived. I needed someone to point me to Jesus Christ. “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears” (Ps. 18:6).
God sent that person and he took me to church. Jesus walked into my messed up life and a couple months later I was saved. The Bible says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9).
Jesus pronounced, “Daughter, You’re free to go. I’ve done the time for you (Acts 2; 2 Cor. 3:17). Now go and tell the world what you have experienced.” The shackles melted. Evil evaporated. Jesus will always meet us right where we are at. We don’t have to be good enough, smart enough or religious enough to earn an audience with him. We can have a personal, intimate relationship with the God Almighty.
My identity changed because God adopted me into his family. God took all my guilty acts and thoughts, and placed them on Jesus. At that moment, he said, “Kimberly, you are forgiven. Every offense is wiped from your record.” God forgives and forgets—completely, and I became righteous—perfect before God. No external makeover can compare to the internal makeover we receive from Jesus Christ!
Excerpt from Kimberly’s book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
.
For twenty years I lived an Ophelia existence. I attempted to take control of my mind, yet I couldn’t conquer the addiction to food, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, and my promiscuous behavior. As a kid, our family moved quite a bit. The first move from America to London, England. I was teased by schoolmates because I didn’t fit into the culture. I was unlike them because I had an accent. I felt stupid because I needed a tutor. I was weird because my clothes were different. Weirdo! What I heard was, “You do not belong” and “You are not accepted.”
We moved back to America when I was twelve. Again I was weird and different, but now I was entering adolescence—the hurricane years. The pain of rejection became part of my normal thought process. I expected people not to like me. We moved several more times. I fell in with the wild crowd, feeling the pressure to fit in. I smoked cigarettes and tried alcohol and drugs. This group gave me a sense of belonging and a means to forget the rejection and losses.
Then I began to gravitate into a new world of worshipping celebrities and models. I believed the lie that to be popular you have to look like a model. Teen magazines say, Don’t worry about being good, worry about looking good and being socially accepted!
As a teen I pretty much turned off my God-given talents and gifts in search of the Western culture’s definition of ideal. I set my sights on being a super model.
When I announced this in my sixth-grade class, a few boys laughed, “Yeah, you’ll be a supermodel…for MAD Magazine.” Translation, You’re ugly. Give it up! I didn’t give it up. I’d do anything to be a beautiful super model or celebrity. And why not? In this culture celebrity and beauty has its rewards. This was the beginning of what I call the Cover Girl masquerade . . . and the spiral downwards began.
The spiral began innocently enough with a simple diet. My senior year in high school I lost fifteen pounds and looked remarkable. I received compliments and praise from my parents and friends…and I wanted more. I felt accepted and loved. I belong! Now I’ll be popular! The disordered eating thought process began in high school but exploded when I entered college and joined a sorority.
Before I knew it I was a full-blown bulimic, a disease that took over my life. I wish someone had said to me, “Great, you’re now a size six. There are a million other size sixes out there. What’s different about you? What is about you, Kimberly the person, that shines?” That would have stung a little, but hopefully have pointed me towards working on my inside. Instead, I worked tirelessly trying to conform to this culture’s image of the stick, thin woman.
As I grew into adulthood, my self-esteem continued to deteriorate. Clearly, by bingeing and purging I was self-medicating—the stress, anxieties, and pain. And then my body started desiring and needing the alcohol. Alcohol abuse usually leads to inappropriate sexual behavior. I couldn’t stop the promiscuity. I did what I thought I should do in order to be accepted. Again, I justified it. Everyone else is sleeping around. It was a way to fill the hole in my heart. But it only deepened the wounds of shame, humiliation, and abandonment.
I eventually got pregnant and chose to have an abortion—another demon o deal with. I had a major life choice to grapple with--to bring this baby to term, or abort it. There was no doubt in my mind that abortion was the answer. After all, I wasn’t married, I had an established lifestyle, and I would have brought embarrassment and shame upon my parents. When I chose abortion, I was really choosing to purge my baby, like the food I ate. I could clearly see that at that time in my life I didn’t value myself, so how could I value my baby’s life? You could say the monster bulimia took two innocent lives. After I had the abortion, I chose to bury this experience like a wrecked ship, on the bottom of an ocean.
Like Ophelia, I was in danger of drowning. It was beginning to look like a life or death situation. It was vital I be revived. I needed someone to point me to Jesus Christ. “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears” (Ps. 18:6).
God sent that person and he took me to church. Jesus walked into my messed up life and a couple months later I was saved. The Bible says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9).
Jesus pronounced, “Daughter, You’re free to go. I’ve done the time for you (Acts 2; 2 Cor. 3:17). Now go and tell the world what you have experienced.” The shackles melted. Evil evaporated. Jesus will always meet us right where we are at. We don’t have to be good enough, smart enough or religious enough to earn an audience with him. We can have a personal, intimate relationship with the God Almighty.
My identity changed because God adopted me into his family. God took all my guilty acts and thoughts, and placed them on Jesus. At that moment, he said, “Kimberly, you are forgiven. Every offense is wiped from your record.” God forgives and forgets—completely, and I became righteous—perfect before God. No external makeover can compare to the internal makeover we receive from Jesus Christ!
Excerpt from Kimberly’s book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
How to Help a Loved One Overcome Depression
For those suffering from depression, the support of friends and family members can be crucial to recovery. Depression is a medical condition that usually improves with treatment. Those with depression need the support to recover and faith in the Word of God.
In the Bible David provincially wrote, “Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy” (Psalm 30: 5). He wrote a majority of these heartfelt psalms. Like us, David describes his depression as being a pit. But, he also knew God’s promise of deliverance despite his present despair.
Our emotional and spiritual life is full of peaks and valleys, and we want immediate relief and answers. But, often, as with David, the Lord calls us to wait, which is the hardest part. Look ahead to the future. There is a way out. Thank God for where he will take you!
If you are worried about a loved one with depression, know how to recognize the symptoms of depression and worsening depression, offer emotional and practical support, and know what to do if suicide seems likely. Speak to the person about their symptoms and feelings, and encourage them to seek treatment from a psychologist or counselor.
This is an excerpt from the book: I'm God's GIrl? Why Can't I Feel It? Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com.htlm for inspiration, Scripture and help.
In the Bible David provincially wrote, “Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy” (Psalm 30: 5). He wrote a majority of these heartfelt psalms. Like us, David describes his depression as being a pit. But, he also knew God’s promise of deliverance despite his present despair.
Our emotional and spiritual life is full of peaks and valleys, and we want immediate relief and answers. But, often, as with David, the Lord calls us to wait, which is the hardest part. Look ahead to the future. There is a way out. Thank God for where he will take you!
If you are worried about a loved one with depression, know how to recognize the symptoms of depression and worsening depression, offer emotional and practical support, and know what to do if suicide seems likely. Speak to the person about their symptoms and feelings, and encourage them to seek treatment from a psychologist or counselor.
This is an excerpt from the book: I'm God's GIrl? Why Can't I Feel It? Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com.htlm for inspiration, Scripture and help.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Stopping an Eating Disorder in Its Tracks
This week I came across a blog with this header: “How to stop bulimia nervosa for good.” The author said the answer was: “Hypnosis is an effective treatment that can help guide you to quit this eating disorder for good.” I’m not putting down hypnosis, and even if this method works for some people, the underlying symptom(s) has not been addressed. Chances are great there will be a relapse.
Without addressing a person’s distorted perceptions, her understanding of her own identity, the work of Jesus Christ, and how she can truly resolve anger and forgive others, there is no real freedom. God has specific processes for setting people free. Disordered eating is very serious, and God is the only One who can truly set a person free for good.
Anybody suffering from unhealthy eating patterns and low self-esteem needs unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness. She needs to acknowledge:
1. What her actual view of God is (the Great Physician)and how to correct a distorted view of God and herself
2. Who she is--seeing herself the way that God sees her, in Christ
3. How to confront the heart of anger and then truly forgive others
4. Why suffering isn’t pleasant, but is part of the growth & redemption process
5. Nutritional keys to healing and creating a binge-free life
6. How God will free her from this and other behaviors that have power over her life
Every person’s road to recovery is different. I was set free permanently after walking through these steps (written in the book: I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It? by Kimberly Davidson) and changing my lifestyle. If you struggle with an ED, you, too, have the same hope.
Without addressing a person’s distorted perceptions, her understanding of her own identity, the work of Jesus Christ, and how she can truly resolve anger and forgive others, there is no real freedom. God has specific processes for setting people free. Disordered eating is very serious, and God is the only One who can truly set a person free for good.
Anybody suffering from unhealthy eating patterns and low self-esteem needs unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness. She needs to acknowledge:
1. What her actual view of God is (the Great Physician)and how to correct a distorted view of God and herself
2. Who she is--seeing herself the way that God sees her, in Christ
3. How to confront the heart of anger and then truly forgive others
4. Why suffering isn’t pleasant, but is part of the growth & redemption process
5. Nutritional keys to healing and creating a binge-free life
6. How God will free her from this and other behaviors that have power over her life
Every person’s road to recovery is different. I was set free permanently after walking through these steps (written in the book: I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It? by Kimberly Davidson) and changing my lifestyle. If you struggle with an ED, you, too, have the same hope.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
A Jolly Heart
It’s been said the most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed. Did you know having a good laugh actually strengthens relationship bonds and makes for a stronger heart? Laughter, like water, flushes toxins out of our body. When we laugh, we have the ability to diffuse the pain by physically increasing the body’s production of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers.
We need to laugh more. A jolly heart is the human gift for not only a healthy heart, but for coping and survival. It breaks the ice, lowers blood pressure, reduces your risk of developing heart disease, and improves mood. Someone who laughs, particularly at herself, can never take herself too seriously. It’s the certain cure for arrogance.
We are responsible for our heart’s care. A study found that just fifteen minutes of watching a funny movie increased average blood flow by 22 percent while watching a serious drama decreased blood flow by 35 percent. Fifteen minutes of laughter and thirty minutes of exercise three times a week is good for the vascular system.
Jesus understood this. He frequently used humor and wit to make his point, like when he mentioned a camel going through the eye of a needle. If anyone had cause for being negative, it was Jesus. His life couldn’t have been easy, facing satanic opposition and human ridicule. Yet Jesus felt joy because he knew his sufferings could not compare with the joy that awaited him. The same should be true for us.
It is no surprise King Solomon advised, “Above all else, guard your heart [or affections] for it is the wellspring of life” (Prov. 4:23, my emphasis). This is serious. Impossible? God never tells us to do something we can’t do in his strength (Phil. 4:13). “Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power!” (Eph. 6:10)
We need to laugh more. A jolly heart is the human gift for not only a healthy heart, but for coping and survival. It breaks the ice, lowers blood pressure, reduces your risk of developing heart disease, and improves mood. Someone who laughs, particularly at herself, can never take herself too seriously. It’s the certain cure for arrogance.
We are responsible for our heart’s care. A study found that just fifteen minutes of watching a funny movie increased average blood flow by 22 percent while watching a serious drama decreased blood flow by 35 percent. Fifteen minutes of laughter and thirty minutes of exercise three times a week is good for the vascular system.
Jesus understood this. He frequently used humor and wit to make his point, like when he mentioned a camel going through the eye of a needle. If anyone had cause for being negative, it was Jesus. His life couldn’t have been easy, facing satanic opposition and human ridicule. Yet Jesus felt joy because he knew his sufferings could not compare with the joy that awaited him. The same should be true for us.
It is no surprise King Solomon advised, “Above all else, guard your heart [or affections] for it is the wellspring of life” (Prov. 4:23, my emphasis). This is serious. Impossible? God never tells us to do something we can’t do in his strength (Phil. 4:13). “Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power!” (Eph. 6:10)
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Your body believes every word you say!
We do not merely experience anger in our minds, we feel it biologically in our body—our muscles tense and stomachs ache. Understanding ourselves, and other people, is critical to mind change and our overall growth. If we were to look at our brain, we may see a dark abscess caused by the stronghold of anger. The same is true for envy, anxiety, lust, fear, depression, and other emotions.
The Bible says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Prov. 14:30). There is a direct correlation between pessimistic, toxic thinking and illness. If we do not have a change of mind, we can actually make ourselves sick! Our body truly speaks our mind.
Becoming aware of our negative thinking patterns is the first step in being able to replace them with truth based patterns of thought. There are two things we must do daily:
(1) Identify & interrogate the negative things and lies you say to yourself, thereby enabling yourself to replace distortions with truth, found in the Word of God.
(2) Submit your thoughts to Christ. This means consciously handing over anxiety, worry, pain, and bitterness. He stands prepared to take your load and break the chains of thought-bondage if you let him.
Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. Through prayer and self-examination, we can learn to submit our struggles because they are impossible to conquer in our own strength. Do you have an attitude of willingness to expose and examine your flaws?
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
The Bible says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Prov. 14:30). There is a direct correlation between pessimistic, toxic thinking and illness. If we do not have a change of mind, we can actually make ourselves sick! Our body truly speaks our mind.
Becoming aware of our negative thinking patterns is the first step in being able to replace them with truth based patterns of thought. There are two things we must do daily:
(1) Identify & interrogate the negative things and lies you say to yourself, thereby enabling yourself to replace distortions with truth, found in the Word of God.
(2) Submit your thoughts to Christ. This means consciously handing over anxiety, worry, pain, and bitterness. He stands prepared to take your load and break the chains of thought-bondage if you let him.
Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. Through prayer and self-examination, we can learn to submit our struggles because they are impossible to conquer in our own strength. Do you have an attitude of willingness to expose and examine your flaws?
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Recovered from Bulimia: this blogger’s story
I was seventeen years old and obsessed with the thin-is-beautiful syndrome. Isn't that what TV, Hollywood and all the magazine adds tell us? If I'm thin I’ll be beautiful, glamorous and happy. But the image of perfection created by our culture soon became a monster that controlled my life.
A friend told me how I could eat anything I wanted, lose however much weight as I wanted to and then not gain an ounce. It was so simple, just by self-induced vomiting. Within months bulimia became my choice of weight control, an effective eight management tool. As the pressures of college increased and I ate to relieve the pressure, my bulimia got worse. I added other popular tools to stay slim, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, laxatives and diuretics all came to my aid.
After years of effort to create a perfect body instead I created a monster that controlled my life. I saw myself as I was, by day Ms. Jekyll, a college graduate and a smart business woman on the move. By night the Monster Hyde, consumed pounds and pounds of food only to be followed by the high drama of a bathroom purge--head in toilet and other forms of elimination. For seventeen years this monster called bulimia tortured me. With a many-stranded whip made of guilt, shame, fear, worthlessness, weakness and self-hatred I scourged myself.
One day I met a godly man who invited me to church. There I faced the truth of who I was and how I dishonored the God-given-gift of a healthy body. This marvelous creation was designed to be a temple of the Living God. I made a cesspool of it.
In bitter confession, humble repentance and faith-filled acceptance I gave my life to Jesus Christ, claimed him as my Lord and Savior. I asked forgiveness for self-centered pride and desire for popularity. I begged God for strength to win the battle over this self-created monster.
Soon a strange thing came into view--I began to have a never-before desire to do crafts. My mind shifted from being thin and beautiful to being creative and productive. Without realizing it, food took a lesser place and the need to purge let up. A desire grew in me to honor God with all I had and was. I hungered to grow spiritually, which I did with the help of my friend and my church family. Something else grew--a desire within me to help others who were being held captive by this gluttonous and tingeing monster. I became an inspirational speaker and founder of an eating disorder ministry called “Olive
Branch Outreach.”
Now I'm advertised as “A Bulimia Survivor.” It’s said of me, “Today Kim reaches out to hundreds of women to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ, and to make Him known by presenting Biblical solutions and teachings as part of her food-disorder healing ministry.” In 2007 “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” was published, a healing bible study for women with eating disorders.
God turned my life-threatening food disorder into a pathway to service. I pray others escape this life-threatening monster. I praise God for his miracle in my life and that I can pass it on to others. God is good an has a plan and purpose for everyone (Jeremiah 29:11).
A friend told me how I could eat anything I wanted, lose however much weight as I wanted to and then not gain an ounce. It was so simple, just by self-induced vomiting. Within months bulimia became my choice of weight control, an effective eight management tool. As the pressures of college increased and I ate to relieve the pressure, my bulimia got worse. I added other popular tools to stay slim, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, laxatives and diuretics all came to my aid.
After years of effort to create a perfect body instead I created a monster that controlled my life. I saw myself as I was, by day Ms. Jekyll, a college graduate and a smart business woman on the move. By night the Monster Hyde, consumed pounds and pounds of food only to be followed by the high drama of a bathroom purge--head in toilet and other forms of elimination. For seventeen years this monster called bulimia tortured me. With a many-stranded whip made of guilt, shame, fear, worthlessness, weakness and self-hatred I scourged myself.
One day I met a godly man who invited me to church. There I faced the truth of who I was and how I dishonored the God-given-gift of a healthy body. This marvelous creation was designed to be a temple of the Living God. I made a cesspool of it.
In bitter confession, humble repentance and faith-filled acceptance I gave my life to Jesus Christ, claimed him as my Lord and Savior. I asked forgiveness for self-centered pride and desire for popularity. I begged God for strength to win the battle over this self-created monster.
Soon a strange thing came into view--I began to have a never-before desire to do crafts. My mind shifted from being thin and beautiful to being creative and productive. Without realizing it, food took a lesser place and the need to purge let up. A desire grew in me to honor God with all I had and was. I hungered to grow spiritually, which I did with the help of my friend and my church family. Something else grew--a desire within me to help others who were being held captive by this gluttonous and tingeing monster. I became an inspirational speaker and founder of an eating disorder ministry called “Olive
Branch Outreach.”
Now I'm advertised as “A Bulimia Survivor.” It’s said of me, “Today Kim reaches out to hundreds of women to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ, and to make Him known by presenting Biblical solutions and teachings as part of her food-disorder healing ministry.” In 2007 “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” was published, a healing bible study for women with eating disorders.
God turned my life-threatening food disorder into a pathway to service. I pray others escape this life-threatening monster. I praise God for his miracle in my life and that I can pass it on to others. God is good an has a plan and purpose for everyone (Jeremiah 29:11).
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Conquering Negative Thoughts
Let's look at the third factor that cause negative thinking--our flesh or humanly nature.
Literally, flesh is our physical nature, the muscular and fatty tissue parts of the body, which are separate from our spirit or soul. Figuratively, flesh is our human nature. It is equated to our fallen, sinful, and dysfunctional nature (Gal. 5:17; Jude 23)—humanity’s natural orientation away from God. The moment we are born, the struggle with our flesh begins, because we are born slaves to sin (John 8:34). We are less able to choose right.
The flesh is our desires. Desires are good in themselves, such as desires for food, sleep, and sex; desires to achieve and succeed. There are proper ways to satisfy each of these desires, and there are also divinely imposed limits. It is when we are tempted that we usually cross those limits. This is where our opponent, Satan, strikes. He takes advantage of our bent toward doing precisely what God would not want us to do. James said, “Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed (James 1:14-15).
Until you understand your fleshly nature, conquering toxic thoughts will be hindered. When our flesh dominates the mind, our thinking is compromised. Scripture states, “Those who live according to the sinful nature [the flesh] have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires” (Rom. 8:5).
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
Literally, flesh is our physical nature, the muscular and fatty tissue parts of the body, which are separate from our spirit or soul. Figuratively, flesh is our human nature. It is equated to our fallen, sinful, and dysfunctional nature (Gal. 5:17; Jude 23)—humanity’s natural orientation away from God. The moment we are born, the struggle with our flesh begins, because we are born slaves to sin (John 8:34). We are less able to choose right.
The flesh is our desires. Desires are good in themselves, such as desires for food, sleep, and sex; desires to achieve and succeed. There are proper ways to satisfy each of these desires, and there are also divinely imposed limits. It is when we are tempted that we usually cross those limits. This is where our opponent, Satan, strikes. He takes advantage of our bent toward doing precisely what God would not want us to do. James said, “Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed (James 1:14-15).
Until you understand your fleshly nature, conquering toxic thoughts will be hindered. When our flesh dominates the mind, our thinking is compromised. Scripture states, “Those who live according to the sinful nature [the flesh] have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires” (Rom. 8:5).
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Fighting for Our Mind
The week before last I said negative and toxic thinking is influenced by three different, but related, ways: through the world, through spiritual warfare, and through our own flesh--our own nature. Last week I focused on how “the world” can be a source of negative thinking. Today I want to talk about the influence of spiritual warfare.
When we speak of spiritual warfare we are speaking about Satan himself. There are many popular ideas about this evil spirit being. Some think Satan is not real but rather a personification of the wickedness that abides in the world. Others contend that a human being can be under the control or the influence of spiritual forces such as demons. Many Christians who believe in Satan in general do not identify him as being the enemy of their personal lives. Or, they believe because they are Christian, they cannot be affected. This is a lie.
Paul told the Corinthians he was not unaware of Satan’s schemes (2 Cor. 2:11). In C. S. Lewis’ classic book The Screwtape Letters, the demon Screwtape teaches his young protégé, Wormwood, the art of snaring a new Christian. He writes, “Our policy, for this moment, is to conceal ourselves…I do not think you will have much difficulty in keeping the patient in the dark. The fact that “devils” are predominantly comic figures in the modern imagination will help you. If any faint suspicion of your existence begins to arise in his mind, suggest to him a picture of something in red tights, and persuade him that since he cannot believe in that he therefore cannot believe in you. ”
Satan is described as the ruler of a host of forces who hold humanity in slavery apart from God (Eph. 2:1-2). Scripture is clear the enemy isn’t one demon but an entire legion of evil spirits following Satan’s commands (Mark 5:1-20). He creates this bondage by influencing individuals to disobey God, to sin. If Satan doesn’t attack Christians, why are we instructed to put on the full armor of God so that we will be able to stand safe against all strategies and tricks of Satan (Eph. 6:1, TLB)?
The mind is Satan's most frequent target of attacks. Scripture supports this. Satan incited David to take a census of Israel (1 Chron. 21:1). Judas’s thoughts of betrayal against Jesus came from Satan (John 13.2). When Judas realized what he did, he took his own life. Suicide is a tragically permanent choice to a temporary problem, which I think best describes Satan’s modem operandi.
Satan deliberately attacks our thought process which ultimately affects our emotions and physical body. Did you know your body reacts to every negative thought because your brain releases chemicals that make your body feel bad? Surely you’ve noticed how your muscles tense, your heart beats faster, and your hands sweat when under negative pressure.
Why would Satan attack our minds? Because our minds are the part of the image of God where God communicates with us and reveals his will: “Be made new in the attitude of your minds; put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph. 4:23-24). God transforms ours lives by renewing our minds, which he does through his truth—the Word of God (John 17:17).
Unknowingly, we embrace the devil’s mind games and accept them as truth. Jesus said, “The devil was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him for he is a liar and the father of all lies” (John 8:44).
Lies are very powerful. If Satan can get you to believe a lie, then he can begin to work in your life to lead you away from God and into sin. When we believe the devil’s lie instead of God’s words of truth, we are powerless to do what is right. This is why he attacks our minds. Our only defense is the inspired Word of God. Faith in God’s truth equals victory; faith in Satan’s lies equals defeat and destruction. “The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth” (Ps. 145:18).
Our spiritual lives are under attack everyday. It is a war for our hearts and minds and bodies—our very souls. Our plan must be to make the enemy sorry he ever picked on us! Are you ready to fight for your heart, mind, and soul?
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
When we speak of spiritual warfare we are speaking about Satan himself. There are many popular ideas about this evil spirit being. Some think Satan is not real but rather a personification of the wickedness that abides in the world. Others contend that a human being can be under the control or the influence of spiritual forces such as demons. Many Christians who believe in Satan in general do not identify him as being the enemy of their personal lives. Or, they believe because they are Christian, they cannot be affected. This is a lie.
Paul told the Corinthians he was not unaware of Satan’s schemes (2 Cor. 2:11). In C. S. Lewis’ classic book The Screwtape Letters, the demon Screwtape teaches his young protégé, Wormwood, the art of snaring a new Christian. He writes, “Our policy, for this moment, is to conceal ourselves…I do not think you will have much difficulty in keeping the patient in the dark. The fact that “devils” are predominantly comic figures in the modern imagination will help you. If any faint suspicion of your existence begins to arise in his mind, suggest to him a picture of something in red tights, and persuade him that since he cannot believe in that he therefore cannot believe in you. ”
Satan is described as the ruler of a host of forces who hold humanity in slavery apart from God (Eph. 2:1-2). Scripture is clear the enemy isn’t one demon but an entire legion of evil spirits following Satan’s commands (Mark 5:1-20). He creates this bondage by influencing individuals to disobey God, to sin. If Satan doesn’t attack Christians, why are we instructed to put on the full armor of God so that we will be able to stand safe against all strategies and tricks of Satan (Eph. 6:1, TLB)?
The mind is Satan's most frequent target of attacks. Scripture supports this. Satan incited David to take a census of Israel (1 Chron. 21:1). Judas’s thoughts of betrayal against Jesus came from Satan (John 13.2). When Judas realized what he did, he took his own life. Suicide is a tragically permanent choice to a temporary problem, which I think best describes Satan’s modem operandi.
Satan deliberately attacks our thought process which ultimately affects our emotions and physical body. Did you know your body reacts to every negative thought because your brain releases chemicals that make your body feel bad? Surely you’ve noticed how your muscles tense, your heart beats faster, and your hands sweat when under negative pressure.
Why would Satan attack our minds? Because our minds are the part of the image of God where God communicates with us and reveals his will: “Be made new in the attitude of your minds; put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph. 4:23-24). God transforms ours lives by renewing our minds, which he does through his truth—the Word of God (John 17:17).
Unknowingly, we embrace the devil’s mind games and accept them as truth. Jesus said, “The devil was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him for he is a liar and the father of all lies” (John 8:44).
Lies are very powerful. If Satan can get you to believe a lie, then he can begin to work in your life to lead you away from God and into sin. When we believe the devil’s lie instead of God’s words of truth, we are powerless to do what is right. This is why he attacks our minds. Our only defense is the inspired Word of God. Faith in God’s truth equals victory; faith in Satan’s lies equals defeat and destruction. “The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth” (Ps. 145:18).
Our spiritual lives are under attack everyday. It is a war for our hearts and minds and bodies—our very souls. Our plan must be to make the enemy sorry he ever picked on us! Are you ready to fight for your heart, mind, and soul?
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
Thursday, April 8, 2010
A Source of Negative Thinking
Last week I talked about how toxic thinking is influenced by three different, but related, ways: through the world, through spiritual warfare, and through our own flesh--our own nature.Today I want to focus on how “the world” can be a source of negative thinking. “The world” touches everyone in many different ways. Worldliness is the attitude that places, self, or things at the center of one’s aspirations and activities.
Secular usually means “belonging to this age or this world.” Worldliness, or secularism, is a worldview or lifestyle oriented toward the irreligious rather than the sacred, towards the natural rather than supernatural. It is the ungodly aspects of our culture, peer pressure, values, traditions, what is in, what is uncool, customs, philosophies and attitudes.
Secularism is guilty of having “exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator” (Romans 1:25).
Although believers are told not to be conformed to this world (Rom. 12:2) we nonetheless are influenced by it. Most Christians live in two different worlds: the one on Sunday morning and the one that includes rest of the week. In practice, both worlds clash. Our disposition, temperament and habits are manipulated through the workplace, media and entertainment industries, advertising, the education system, peer groups; world views and philosophies. No doubt our minds are more at risk now than ever.
If we follow the world’s ways, we miss God’s blessings. Jesus’s disciple John said, “Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father” (1 John 2:15, Msg).
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
Secular usually means “belonging to this age or this world.” Worldliness, or secularism, is a worldview or lifestyle oriented toward the irreligious rather than the sacred, towards the natural rather than supernatural. It is the ungodly aspects of our culture, peer pressure, values, traditions, what is in, what is uncool, customs, philosophies and attitudes.
Secularism is guilty of having “exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator” (Romans 1:25).
Although believers are told not to be conformed to this world (Rom. 12:2) we nonetheless are influenced by it. Most Christians live in two different worlds: the one on Sunday morning and the one that includes rest of the week. In practice, both worlds clash. Our disposition, temperament and habits are manipulated through the workplace, media and entertainment industries, advertising, the education system, peer groups; world views and philosophies. No doubt our minds are more at risk now than ever.
If we follow the world’s ways, we miss God’s blessings. Jesus’s disciple John said, “Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father” (1 John 2:15, Msg).
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Why do I let my negative thoughts influence me?
How would answer hat question? I say it’s because we are in bondage. One who is in bondage suffers captivity of some sort. Not literal chains or bars, but in beliefs and behavior. We cannot spend day after day in this world without it affecting our minds, our hearts, and our souls. They become unguarded. Our hearts start to shift away from God. And the ironic thing is the harder we work to become free, the more freedom we seem to lose.
Most often we aren’t even aware this is happening. We go about our business believing all is well, but deep down inside something feels wrong. If we live with something long enough, we don’t pay attention to it. This is the way life is supposed to work out! That’s bondage. David cried to God, “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Ps. 13:2, my emphasis). His soul is conflicted.
A major portion of understanding how our past influences the present is becoming aware of the three major influences in our lives and then learning how to resist them. Toxic thinking is influenced by three different, but related, ways: through the world, through spiriutal warfare, and through our own flesh--our own nature. These negative influences commonly work together to lead people away from God, negatively affecting our beliefs, thinking, and behavior. These are our conflict zones. Next week we'll talk about "the world."
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
Most often we aren’t even aware this is happening. We go about our business believing all is well, but deep down inside something feels wrong. If we live with something long enough, we don’t pay attention to it. This is the way life is supposed to work out! That’s bondage. David cried to God, “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Ps. 13:2, my emphasis). His soul is conflicted.
A major portion of understanding how our past influences the present is becoming aware of the three major influences in our lives and then learning how to resist them. Toxic thinking is influenced by three different, but related, ways: through the world, through spiriutal warfare, and through our own flesh--our own nature. These negative influences commonly work together to lead people away from God, negatively affecting our beliefs, thinking, and behavior. These are our conflict zones. Next week we'll talk about "the world."
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Negative Thinking Stifles Good Health
Let’s do an attitude check. If someone were to follow you around this week, how would they describe you?
1. Gracious or cranky?
2. Complimentary or critical?
3. Encouraging or bitter?
Our attitudes are important to health and success in life. Our lives affect those we have contact with, either positively or negatively. Because emotions and behaviors involve a complex interplay between the heart, the mind, and the body, it benefits us to know how our mind is influenced and how our brain works.
Your body believes every word you say! We do not merely experience anger in our minds, we feel it biologically in our body—our muscles tense and stomachs ache. Understanding ourselves, and other people, is critical to mind change and our overall growth. If we were to look at our brain, we may see a dark abscess caused by the stronghold of anger. The same is true for envy, anxiety, lust, fear, depression, and other emotions.
The Bible says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Prov. 14:30). There is a direct correlation between pessimistic, toxic thinking and illness. If we do not have a change of mind, we can actually make ourselves sick! Our body truly speaks our mind.
Even as a Christian, my mind continued to create negative thoughts, which translated into bad feelings and behaviors. Not only was my mind and heart tormented, but so was my physical body. I was diagnosed with lupus, gastritis, and shingles. No question, what you think influences your biological body. Toxic thinking can manifest itself in bodily symptoms such as cancer, diabetes, allergies, to name a few.
Research confirms some of our behaviors actually prevent us from being our best selves. The reasons may be varied, from psychological or biological causes to spiritual warfare, or a combination. We know our brain speaks to our body and vice versa. There is an ongoing symphony of chemicals playing through your body twenty-four hours a day. Our way of thinking affects the functioning of that whole electrical-chemical cycle. When the cycle is upset, all sorts of illnesses and injuries can result, impairing our ability to decipher truth and live a fulfilling life.
Finding the root cause does not excuse bad behavior or lessen the need to seek spiritual or therapeutic help. Rather, it allows us to better understand why we do what we do so we might choose better alternatives.
I will be exploring many of those alternatives in upcoming blogs.
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
1. Gracious or cranky?
2. Complimentary or critical?
3. Encouraging or bitter?
Our attitudes are important to health and success in life. Our lives affect those we have contact with, either positively or negatively. Because emotions and behaviors involve a complex interplay between the heart, the mind, and the body, it benefits us to know how our mind is influenced and how our brain works.
Your body believes every word you say! We do not merely experience anger in our minds, we feel it biologically in our body—our muscles tense and stomachs ache. Understanding ourselves, and other people, is critical to mind change and our overall growth. If we were to look at our brain, we may see a dark abscess caused by the stronghold of anger. The same is true for envy, anxiety, lust, fear, depression, and other emotions.
The Bible says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Prov. 14:30). There is a direct correlation between pessimistic, toxic thinking and illness. If we do not have a change of mind, we can actually make ourselves sick! Our body truly speaks our mind.
Even as a Christian, my mind continued to create negative thoughts, which translated into bad feelings and behaviors. Not only was my mind and heart tormented, but so was my physical body. I was diagnosed with lupus, gastritis, and shingles. No question, what you think influences your biological body. Toxic thinking can manifest itself in bodily symptoms such as cancer, diabetes, allergies, to name a few.
Research confirms some of our behaviors actually prevent us from being our best selves. The reasons may be varied, from psychological or biological causes to spiritual warfare, or a combination. We know our brain speaks to our body and vice versa. There is an ongoing symphony of chemicals playing through your body twenty-four hours a day. Our way of thinking affects the functioning of that whole electrical-chemical cycle. When the cycle is upset, all sorts of illnesses and injuries can result, impairing our ability to decipher truth and live a fulfilling life.
Finding the root cause does not excuse bad behavior or lessen the need to seek spiritual or therapeutic help. Rather, it allows us to better understand why we do what we do so we might choose better alternatives.
I will be exploring many of those alternatives in upcoming blogs.
This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Why are we so unhappy with our bodies?
Body Image and Self-Esteem
I don’t think any of us would disagree that we are under pressure to measure up to a certain social and cultural ideal of beauty, which can lead to poor body image. Images we see daily can reinforce an already negative opinion we have of our body, leading us to believe we are overweight and not able to meet the “perfect” American standard.
Family and friends can influence our body image with positive and/or negative comments. Doctors and other professionals also have a powerful impact on our body image. Their comments may be delivered as health advice, but if misinterpreted, affects how we perceive our body.
We all have days when we feel awkward or uncomfortable in our bodies. The key to developing positive body image is to recognize and respect our natural shape and learn to overpower those negative thoughts and feelings with positive, affirming, and accepting thoughts. Accept yourself. Accept your body. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate your body.
What is body image?
Slowly over time, you developed your body image based on what your family, boyfriend(s), and/or husband(s), coaches, and teachers told you. Add to that thousands of daily media messages from magazines, novels, television, music, and you start to believe that you’re fat or ugly. All these negative thoughts and beliefs can lead down a self-destructive path unless you know how to recognize and cope with them. A woman with a healthy body image respects her body, takes care of her body, and keeps her body in perspective.
What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” It is your overall evaluation of your self-worth and how you value your own attributes. How high or low your self-esteem is depends on how you compare what you’d like to be with how you actually see yourself.
Research shows that girls lose twenty-three percent of their self-esteem between elementary and middle school. A study by the American Association of University Women found only twenty-nine percent of high school girls were happy with themselves.
Psychologists describe key components of self-esteem as how you evaluate yourself in terms of important characteristics like what you are good at, what you are not so good at, and the kinds of situations you prefer or avoid.
Most of our feelings about ourselves are built into us in childhood. If we were fortunate to have loving parents who conveyed our worth in their relationship to us, and if we grew up in a safe environment with positive relationships with peers, teachers, and role models, then it is likely we will feel reasonably good about ourselves. However, if faced with negative influences in childhood, it may not take much to tip the balance the other way.
“The body is a sacred garment. It’s your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor.” –Martha Graham
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
I don’t think any of us would disagree that we are under pressure to measure up to a certain social and cultural ideal of beauty, which can lead to poor body image. Images we see daily can reinforce an already negative opinion we have of our body, leading us to believe we are overweight and not able to meet the “perfect” American standard.
Family and friends can influence our body image with positive and/or negative comments. Doctors and other professionals also have a powerful impact on our body image. Their comments may be delivered as health advice, but if misinterpreted, affects how we perceive our body.
We all have days when we feel awkward or uncomfortable in our bodies. The key to developing positive body image is to recognize and respect our natural shape and learn to overpower those negative thoughts and feelings with positive, affirming, and accepting thoughts. Accept yourself. Accept your body. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate your body.
What is body image?
Slowly over time, you developed your body image based on what your family, boyfriend(s), and/or husband(s), coaches, and teachers told you. Add to that thousands of daily media messages from magazines, novels, television, music, and you start to believe that you’re fat or ugly. All these negative thoughts and beliefs can lead down a self-destructive path unless you know how to recognize and cope with them. A woman with a healthy body image respects her body, takes care of her body, and keeps her body in perspective.
What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” It is your overall evaluation of your self-worth and how you value your own attributes. How high or low your self-esteem is depends on how you compare what you’d like to be with how you actually see yourself.
Research shows that girls lose twenty-three percent of their self-esteem between elementary and middle school. A study by the American Association of University Women found only twenty-nine percent of high school girls were happy with themselves.
Psychologists describe key components of self-esteem as how you evaluate yourself in terms of important characteristics like what you are good at, what you are not so good at, and the kinds of situations you prefer or avoid.
Most of our feelings about ourselves are built into us in childhood. If we were fortunate to have loving parents who conveyed our worth in their relationship to us, and if we grew up in a safe environment with positive relationships with peers, teachers, and role models, then it is likely we will feel reasonably good about ourselves. However, if faced with negative influences in childhood, it may not take much to tip the balance the other way.
“The body is a sacred garment. It’s your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor.” –Martha Graham
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Replace Negative Self-talk with the Positive
Henry Ford said, “If you believe you can and if you believe you can’t, you’re right.”
Many women fear confronting the memories of the past. Why do we need to? To know the why opens the door to seeing the possibility of seeing the seriousness of a problem and the need for more than “Just stop” or “Go away thought.” Often mere behavior modification isn’t the answer. Recognition of the motivation behind the thought or behavior reveals our need to avail ourselves to the work of the Holy Spirit so he can expose the darkness and bring truth and light into our life.
When we understand the memory or the thought, the soul heals because we are freed from unnecessary guilt, anxiety, and shame. Interrogating the whys is to embrace God’s biblical path for your life. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, ask:
1. What is the source? Where did that thought come from? The devil, the flesh, or the world? Yes! Toss it out.
2. Can I defend this thought from the Word of God? No! Toss it out.
3. Is this pride? Is this about me receiving credit? Am I thinking too highly of myself or poorly about someone else? Yes! Toss it out.
4. If I follow this thought will this get me where God wants me to go in life? No! Toss it out.
5. Will this thought build me up or tear me down? Jealousy, greed, anger, and pride will tear you down. Toss it out.
6. Will I reap freedom and joy by allowing this thought through my sieve? No! Toss it out.
7. Is this thought scripturally sound? Is it truth? Go ahead and do it…everybody’s doing it. No! Toss it out.
8. Can I share this thought? No! Toss it out.
9. Does this thought make me feel shamed or condemned? Yes! Toss it out.
10. Does this fit who I am (my character) as the daughter and a follower of Jesus? No! Toss it out.
11. Does this thought bring glory to Jesus? No! Toss it out.
12. Am I buying into the devil’s message through romance novels, soap operas, gossipy conversations, movies, or magazines? Yes! Toss it out.
Reflect: God’s Word says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:1). Stand firm on your foundation of who God is. Stand firm on who you are in Jesus Christ. Stand firm on your faith on all of God’s promises every day.
Pray: Jesus, thank you for continuing to liberate me. Deliver me today from any yoke of bondage by revealing anything that needs to be broken and restored by you. Help me to recognize and stand strong against my enemies and stand firm in who I am in you. Protect me and help me to repent so I won’t be drawn back into those things which have kept my mind enslaved to the world’s, the devil’s, and my own flesh’s ways.
Many women fear confronting the memories of the past. Why do we need to? To know the why opens the door to seeing the possibility of seeing the seriousness of a problem and the need for more than “Just stop” or “Go away thought.” Often mere behavior modification isn’t the answer. Recognition of the motivation behind the thought or behavior reveals our need to avail ourselves to the work of the Holy Spirit so he can expose the darkness and bring truth and light into our life.
When we understand the memory or the thought, the soul heals because we are freed from unnecessary guilt, anxiety, and shame. Interrogating the whys is to embrace God’s biblical path for your life. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, ask:
1. What is the source? Where did that thought come from? The devil, the flesh, or the world? Yes! Toss it out.
2. Can I defend this thought from the Word of God? No! Toss it out.
3. Is this pride? Is this about me receiving credit? Am I thinking too highly of myself or poorly about someone else? Yes! Toss it out.
4. If I follow this thought will this get me where God wants me to go in life? No! Toss it out.
5. Will this thought build me up or tear me down? Jealousy, greed, anger, and pride will tear you down. Toss it out.
6. Will I reap freedom and joy by allowing this thought through my sieve? No! Toss it out.
7. Is this thought scripturally sound? Is it truth? Go ahead and do it…everybody’s doing it. No! Toss it out.
8. Can I share this thought? No! Toss it out.
9. Does this thought make me feel shamed or condemned? Yes! Toss it out.
10. Does this fit who I am (my character) as the daughter and a follower of Jesus? No! Toss it out.
11. Does this thought bring glory to Jesus? No! Toss it out.
12. Am I buying into the devil’s message through romance novels, soap operas, gossipy conversations, movies, or magazines? Yes! Toss it out.
Reflect: God’s Word says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:1). Stand firm on your foundation of who God is. Stand firm on who you are in Jesus Christ. Stand firm on your faith on all of God’s promises every day.
Pray: Jesus, thank you for continuing to liberate me. Deliver me today from any yoke of bondage by revealing anything that needs to be broken and restored by you. Help me to recognize and stand strong against my enemies and stand firm in who I am in you. Protect me and help me to repent so I won’t be drawn back into those things which have kept my mind enslaved to the world’s, the devil’s, and my own flesh’s ways.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Depression strategy: recognize negative thoughts, feelings of being low and sad and take action!
Old thinking says: I can do it by myself! Or, we may use Scarlett O’Hara’s method of dealing with reality (Gone With The Wind): “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” God is challenging us not to go this alone. We need him and other people. Think and pray about beginning to connect with friends and church if you aren’t doing so. A small fellowship group or Bible study is an excellent resource for sharing, encouragement, and comfort. God wants all of us to be in an environment where we can experience his love through our relationships with other believers.
Secondly, you may feel now is the time to talk to a professional therapist. A special notation if you are coping with sexual abuse: you may believe because the abuse happened decades ago, there is nothing you can do about it now. Ignoring painful feelings may have been adaptive at the time the abuse happened (a child lacks control over the abuse). However, continuing to avoid bad feelings as an adult can lead women to stay in painful situations. Ignoring the abuse can put you at further risk for depression.
Guidelines for finding a counselor:
Seek a counselor that is Christian, or offers a spirituality component. Locate a counselor who takes the opportunity to take you to the Word of God, to teach you about the character and ways of God, to help you see the necessity of total surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord. Charles Stanley said, “If it’s (psychotherapy) not based on the Word of God, all you have is just somebody’s opinion, you have some ways or some steps, but apart from God, they’re still depending upon themselves. If you leave God out of it, it becomes: "what can I do?"
Ask for a personal referral. Ideally, try to get a recommendation from a therapist's client. If you can't find that, ask your doctor or pastor for a few names. Look for a licensed psychologist, social worker, or family therapist who shares your values and faith (psychiatrists typically don't do much counseling).
Evaluate. After your first visit, ask yourself: Did I feel heard and valued? Did I feel comfortable? If you answer no to any of these, keep searching for the right fit. It may be a good idea to give a therapist a second chance if you feel hurt or upset.
Finances and logistics. Is this counselor covered by your insurance policy? Is the cost doable? Typically, psychologists are most expensive, followed by social workers and family therapists. Is the office location convenient for you?
This is an excerpt from the devotional book: I’m God’s Girl? Why Can’t I Feel It?
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
Secondly, you may feel now is the time to talk to a professional therapist. A special notation if you are coping with sexual abuse: you may believe because the abuse happened decades ago, there is nothing you can do about it now. Ignoring painful feelings may have been adaptive at the time the abuse happened (a child lacks control over the abuse). However, continuing to avoid bad feelings as an adult can lead women to stay in painful situations. Ignoring the abuse can put you at further risk for depression.
Guidelines for finding a counselor:
Seek a counselor that is Christian, or offers a spirituality component. Locate a counselor who takes the opportunity to take you to the Word of God, to teach you about the character and ways of God, to help you see the necessity of total surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord. Charles Stanley said, “If it’s (psychotherapy) not based on the Word of God, all you have is just somebody’s opinion, you have some ways or some steps, but apart from God, they’re still depending upon themselves. If you leave God out of it, it becomes: "what can I do?"
Ask for a personal referral. Ideally, try to get a recommendation from a therapist's client. If you can't find that, ask your doctor or pastor for a few names. Look for a licensed psychologist, social worker, or family therapist who shares your values and faith (psychiatrists typically don't do much counseling).
Evaluate. After your first visit, ask yourself: Did I feel heard and valued? Did I feel comfortable? If you answer no to any of these, keep searching for the right fit. It may be a good idea to give a therapist a second chance if you feel hurt or upset.
Finances and logistics. Is this counselor covered by your insurance policy? Is the cost doable? Typically, psychologists are most expensive, followed by social workers and family therapists. Is the office location convenient for you?
This is an excerpt from the devotional book: I’m God’s Girl? Why Can’t I Feel It?
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Battle Depression with Thankfulness
Whether we realize it or not, today we have many things to be joyful for:
If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who won't survive the week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of twenty million people around the world.
If you attend church without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.
If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are richer than seventy-five percent of this world.
If you have money in the bank and in your wallet, you are among the top eight percent of the world’s wealthy.
If your parents are still married, you are very rare, especially in the USA.
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can hold someone's hand, hug them, or touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
If you can read this, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.
If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who won't survive the week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of twenty million people around the world.
If you attend church without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.
If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are richer than seventy-five percent of this world.
If you have money in the bank and in your wallet, you are among the top eight percent of the world’s wealthy.
If your parents are still married, you are very rare, especially in the USA.
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can hold someone's hand, hug them, or touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
If you can read this, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Depression: A Spiritual Crisis
What is your chief concern in life right now? Most likely you answered, “To have happiness or joy.”
There is a difference between happiness and joy. The word “joy” is used 224 times in the Bible (NIV), whereas the words “happy” and “happiness” combined are used only thirty times. That is not a coincidence. Happiness is dependant on circumstances, like a job promotion, or getting married, or finding out you are pregnant. Ralph Waldo Trine wrote, "To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy... is to set our own conditions to the events of each day."
Joy is different. It is dependant on a relationship with God. Jesus, preparing the disciples for his departure said, “You're going to be in deep mourning. You'll be sad, very sad, but your sadness will develop into joy. When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there's no getting around it. “But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth.” John 16:20-21 If you’ve endured childbirth, you understand Jesus’ point.
Many see depression today as more a spiritual crisis when the issue becomes; What am I here for? Where is joy and laughter in life? What’s my purpose?
Before lasting peace and joy can be found, we must answer these questions.
Christian psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter agrees that a modest amount of depression can be a sign of a hungry spirit. He wrote, “Life is a journey, and our efforts to relate appropriately are meaningless if we do not stay focused on where we come from and where we are going.”
We’re all spiritual beings. It is when our spirit unites with God’s that we find true peace, joy, and fulfillment. Depression can even produce insight and wisdom that can be had in no other way.
From his years of experience caring for the depressed, Dr. Walter Johnson wrote, “Although I am convinced, and indeed scientific evidence is very strong in this area, that in many cases biological factors are a predominant cause of depression, I am very insistent that spiritual counseling is of the utmost importance in treating depressed individuals in conjunction, when necessary, with antidepressant medications.”
This is an excerpt from the devotional book: I’m God’s Girl? Why Can’t I Feel It? I would recommend purchasing a self-help book on how to defeat depression God’s way and challenge negative thoughts. Learn to see the world in a hopeful, positive light.
There is a difference between happiness and joy. The word “joy” is used 224 times in the Bible (NIV), whereas the words “happy” and “happiness” combined are used only thirty times. That is not a coincidence. Happiness is dependant on circumstances, like a job promotion, or getting married, or finding out you are pregnant. Ralph Waldo Trine wrote, "To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy... is to set our own conditions to the events of each day."
Joy is different. It is dependant on a relationship with God. Jesus, preparing the disciples for his departure said, “You're going to be in deep mourning. You'll be sad, very sad, but your sadness will develop into joy. When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there's no getting around it. “But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth.” John 16:20-21 If you’ve endured childbirth, you understand Jesus’ point.
Many see depression today as more a spiritual crisis when the issue becomes; What am I here for? Where is joy and laughter in life? What’s my purpose?
Before lasting peace and joy can be found, we must answer these questions.
Christian psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter agrees that a modest amount of depression can be a sign of a hungry spirit. He wrote, “Life is a journey, and our efforts to relate appropriately are meaningless if we do not stay focused on where we come from and where we are going.”
We’re all spiritual beings. It is when our spirit unites with God’s that we find true peace, joy, and fulfillment. Depression can even produce insight and wisdom that can be had in no other way.
From his years of experience caring for the depressed, Dr. Walter Johnson wrote, “Although I am convinced, and indeed scientific evidence is very strong in this area, that in many cases biological factors are a predominant cause of depression, I am very insistent that spiritual counseling is of the utmost importance in treating depressed individuals in conjunction, when necessary, with antidepressant medications.”
This is an excerpt from the devotional book: I’m God’s Girl? Why Can’t I Feel It? I would recommend purchasing a self-help book on how to defeat depression God’s way and challenge negative thoughts. Learn to see the world in a hopeful, positive light.
The Problem with Perfectionism
Negative thinking says, I must be painstakingly competent and perfect in order to consider myself worthwhile. I must work hard to be loved. Add to that: I am a perfectionist.
We live in a world that defines a person's value and worth by productivity. How much we get done and how well we do it are the benchmarks of a successful day. This doesn't come without a cost. One of the leading causes of depression is having standards so high you cannot live up to them.
Defined as anxious slavery or slow suicide, perfectionists feel they need to prove their value to avoid the threat of rejection. Guilty!
There is a certain amount of tension in every Christian's mind concerning the biblical call to perfection. In one compartment of the brain there's a tug to live up to all the standards of Christ, but then on the other side, our attempts to measure up to those standards are always flawed.
As a ministry leader often I find myself falling back into the perfection rut, feeling I have to meet some very high expectations. What has been very freeing to me is to realize that when God called me to ministry he knew what he was getting. A couple months down the road he didn’t say, “Bad decision. I shouldn’t have called her!” Companies say that. People say that. Not God. That’s the freedom of grace. You are already completely acceptable to God as imperfect as you are. Thank you Jesus!
God defines personhood and success very differently than our culture does. The measure of our life is not where we live, how we look, or how well we sew or cook. From his perspective, success is measured by what kind of person we are, even in the midst of life's challenges.
God’s grace is greater than our imperfections, than our sin, and far greater than Satan (Rom. 5:20-21). “Christ redeemed [freed] us from the curse of the law [the curse of perfectionism] by becoming a curse for us” (Gal. 3:13, my emphasis). Jesus Christ became (past tense) the curse for us, freeing us from all perfectionistic law traps. Perfection means a perfect union with God for which we were created.
Banish the perfectionista in you! James 3:2 proclaims we all stumble in many ways. Nobody, apart from God, is perfect. People will always fail, disappoint and hurt us. We will make mistakes, even humiliate ourselves. God gives us an incredible gift when we become his daughter—grace. Today, give yourself grace.
If perfectionism has lead to significant problems with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or difficulties in your relationships, you may want to consider working through one of the books I’ve written: http://www.olivebranchoutreach.com/shopping.htm
You may want to seek expert help from an experienced mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. Your family doctor is a good place to start if you are looking for a referral.
This is an excerpt from “Breaking the Cover Girl Mask.”
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