Unforgiveness is guaranteed to hinder our growth because it plants roots of bitterness in our heart. It’s like pouring acid in us, a caustic substance that eats through our heart. Why is it so hard for us to “forgive and forget” the injuries of life?
God never promised any of us freedom from pain. We can begin to find happiness if we free our mind of resentment and bitterness—put the past behind and see the process as empowering. you can hold that person responsible, harbor hatred, and consequently, carry feelings of anger forever. Or you can begin healing when you chose to forgive. In order to heal, we must forgive again and again—the big wrongs and the little ones. The alternative is to hold on to hatred and bitterness, which eventually will hurt all our relationships. Give yourself grace.
Sheila Walsh wrote, “In my situation, as long as I was unwilling to let go and forgive, there was still a nail in my wrist, and every time I talked to someone about the situation, it cut in a little deeper." It is our responsibility to pull out that nail. Many people won’t choose to forgive. They live unhappy lives of bitterness and unforgiveness.
Dr. Gregory Jantz says, If the child of the past and the adult of the present are to integrate fully into the person of the future, there comes a time when both must release the hurts of the past. This doesn’t mean that you forget what has been done to you, but that you forgive those responsible, whether they deserve your forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is the final destination on your healing journey. The road that lies beyond is one of health.
What is your greatest battle with forgiveness?
What lack of forgiveness or bitterness is still attached to you?
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
My story: Saving Opheila
Ophelia, in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, illustrates the destructive forces affecting young women. Ophelia is a typical girl, footloose and fancy-free. But she loses herself in adolescence. She falls in love with Hamlet and lives only for his approval. She doesn’t have a relationship with God and the insight of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct her, so she lives merely to meet Hamlet’s and her father’s demands. Who she is, her value, is determined solely by their approval, and she is torn apart. She goes mad with grief. Elegantly dressed, tragically she drowns in a stream filled with flowers.
For twenty years I lived an Ophelia existence. I attempted to take control of my mind, yet I couldn’t conquer the addiction to food, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, and my promiscuous behavior. As a kid, our family moved quite a bit. The first move from America to London, England. I was teased by schoolmates because I didn’t fit into the culture. I was unlike them because I had an accent. I felt stupid because I needed a tutor. I was weird because my clothes were different. Weirdo! What I heard was, “You do not belong” and “You are not accepted.”
We moved back to America when I was twelve. Again I was weird and different, but now I was entering adolescence—the hurricane years. The pain of rejection became part of my normal thought process. I expected people not to like me. We moved several more times. I fell in with the wild crowd, feeling the pressure to fit in. I smoked cigarettes and tried alcohol and drugs. This group gave me a sense of belonging and a means to forget the rejection and losses.
Then I began to gravitate into a new world of worshipping celebrities and models. I believed the lie that to be popular you have to look like a model. Teen magazines say, Don’t worry about being good, worry about looking good and being socially accepted!
As a teen I pretty much turned off my God-given talents and gifts in search of the Western culture’s definition of ideal. I set my sights on being a super model.
When I announced this in my sixth-grade class, a few boys laughed, “Yeah, you’ll be a supermodel…for MAD Magazine.” Translation, You’re ugly. Give it up! I didn’t give it up. I’d do anything to be a beautiful super model or celebrity. And why not? In this culture celebrity and beauty has its rewards. This was the beginning of what I call the Cover Girl masquerade . . . and the spiral downwards began.
The spiral began innocently enough with a simple diet. My senior year in high school I lost fifteen pounds and looked remarkable. I received compliments and praise from my parents and friends…and I wanted more. I felt accepted and loved. I belong! Now I’ll be popular! The disordered eating thought process began in high school but exploded when I entered college and joined a sorority.
Before I knew it I was a full-blown bulimic, a disease that took over my life. I wish someone had said to me, “Great, you’re now a size six. There are a million other size sixes out there. What’s different about you? What is about you, Kimberly the person, that shines?” That would have stung a little, but hopefully have pointed me towards working on my inside. Instead, I worked tirelessly trying to conform to this culture’s image of the stick, thin woman.
As I grew into adulthood, my self-esteem continued to deteriorate. Clearly, by bingeing and purging I was self-medicating—the stress, anxieties, and pain. And then my body started desiring and needing the alcohol. Alcohol abuse usually leads to inappropriate sexual behavior. I couldn’t stop the promiscuity. I did what I thought I should do in order to be accepted. Again, I justified it. Everyone else is sleeping around. It was a way to fill the hole in my heart. But it only deepened the wounds of shame, humiliation, and abandonment.
I eventually got pregnant and chose to have an abortion—another demon o deal with. I had a major life choice to grapple with--to bring this baby to term, or abort it. There was no doubt in my mind that abortion was the answer. After all, I wasn’t married, I had an established lifestyle, and I would have brought embarrassment and shame upon my parents. When I chose abortion, I was really choosing to purge my baby, like the food I ate. I could clearly see that at that time in my life I didn’t value myself, so how could I value my baby’s life? You could say the monster bulimia took two innocent lives. After I had the abortion, I chose to bury this experience like a wrecked ship, on the bottom of an ocean.
Like Ophelia, I was in danger of drowning. It was beginning to look like a life or death situation. It was vital I be revived. I needed someone to point me to Jesus Christ. “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears” (Ps. 18:6).
God sent that person and he took me to church. Jesus walked into my messed up life and a couple months later I was saved. The Bible says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9).
Jesus pronounced, “Daughter, You’re free to go. I’ve done the time for you (Acts 2; 2 Cor. 3:17). Now go and tell the world what you have experienced.” The shackles melted. Evil evaporated. Jesus will always meet us right where we are at. We don’t have to be good enough, smart enough or religious enough to earn an audience with him. We can have a personal, intimate relationship with the God Almighty.
My identity changed because God adopted me into his family. God took all my guilty acts and thoughts, and placed them on Jesus. At that moment, he said, “Kimberly, you are forgiven. Every offense is wiped from your record.” God forgives and forgets—completely, and I became righteous—perfect before God. No external makeover can compare to the internal makeover we receive from Jesus Christ!
Excerpt from Kimberly’s book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
.
For twenty years I lived an Ophelia existence. I attempted to take control of my mind, yet I couldn’t conquer the addiction to food, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, and my promiscuous behavior. As a kid, our family moved quite a bit. The first move from America to London, England. I was teased by schoolmates because I didn’t fit into the culture. I was unlike them because I had an accent. I felt stupid because I needed a tutor. I was weird because my clothes were different. Weirdo! What I heard was, “You do not belong” and “You are not accepted.”
We moved back to America when I was twelve. Again I was weird and different, but now I was entering adolescence—the hurricane years. The pain of rejection became part of my normal thought process. I expected people not to like me. We moved several more times. I fell in with the wild crowd, feeling the pressure to fit in. I smoked cigarettes and tried alcohol and drugs. This group gave me a sense of belonging and a means to forget the rejection and losses.
Then I began to gravitate into a new world of worshipping celebrities and models. I believed the lie that to be popular you have to look like a model. Teen magazines say, Don’t worry about being good, worry about looking good and being socially accepted!
As a teen I pretty much turned off my God-given talents and gifts in search of the Western culture’s definition of ideal. I set my sights on being a super model.
When I announced this in my sixth-grade class, a few boys laughed, “Yeah, you’ll be a supermodel…for MAD Magazine.” Translation, You’re ugly. Give it up! I didn’t give it up. I’d do anything to be a beautiful super model or celebrity. And why not? In this culture celebrity and beauty has its rewards. This was the beginning of what I call the Cover Girl masquerade . . . and the spiral downwards began.
The spiral began innocently enough with a simple diet. My senior year in high school I lost fifteen pounds and looked remarkable. I received compliments and praise from my parents and friends…and I wanted more. I felt accepted and loved. I belong! Now I’ll be popular! The disordered eating thought process began in high school but exploded when I entered college and joined a sorority.
Before I knew it I was a full-blown bulimic, a disease that took over my life. I wish someone had said to me, “Great, you’re now a size six. There are a million other size sixes out there. What’s different about you? What is about you, Kimberly the person, that shines?” That would have stung a little, but hopefully have pointed me towards working on my inside. Instead, I worked tirelessly trying to conform to this culture’s image of the stick, thin woman.
As I grew into adulthood, my self-esteem continued to deteriorate. Clearly, by bingeing and purging I was self-medicating—the stress, anxieties, and pain. And then my body started desiring and needing the alcohol. Alcohol abuse usually leads to inappropriate sexual behavior. I couldn’t stop the promiscuity. I did what I thought I should do in order to be accepted. Again, I justified it. Everyone else is sleeping around. It was a way to fill the hole in my heart. But it only deepened the wounds of shame, humiliation, and abandonment.
I eventually got pregnant and chose to have an abortion—another demon o deal with. I had a major life choice to grapple with--to bring this baby to term, or abort it. There was no doubt in my mind that abortion was the answer. After all, I wasn’t married, I had an established lifestyle, and I would have brought embarrassment and shame upon my parents. When I chose abortion, I was really choosing to purge my baby, like the food I ate. I could clearly see that at that time in my life I didn’t value myself, so how could I value my baby’s life? You could say the monster bulimia took two innocent lives. After I had the abortion, I chose to bury this experience like a wrecked ship, on the bottom of an ocean.
Like Ophelia, I was in danger of drowning. It was beginning to look like a life or death situation. It was vital I be revived. I needed someone to point me to Jesus Christ. “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears” (Ps. 18:6).
God sent that person and he took me to church. Jesus walked into my messed up life and a couple months later I was saved. The Bible says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9).
Jesus pronounced, “Daughter, You’re free to go. I’ve done the time for you (Acts 2; 2 Cor. 3:17). Now go and tell the world what you have experienced.” The shackles melted. Evil evaporated. Jesus will always meet us right where we are at. We don’t have to be good enough, smart enough or religious enough to earn an audience with him. We can have a personal, intimate relationship with the God Almighty.
My identity changed because God adopted me into his family. God took all my guilty acts and thoughts, and placed them on Jesus. At that moment, he said, “Kimberly, you are forgiven. Every offense is wiped from your record.” God forgives and forgets—completely, and I became righteous—perfect before God. No external makeover can compare to the internal makeover we receive from Jesus Christ!
Excerpt from Kimberly’s book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
How to Help a Loved One Overcome Depression
For those suffering from depression, the support of friends and family members can be crucial to recovery. Depression is a medical condition that usually improves with treatment. Those with depression need the support to recover and faith in the Word of God.
In the Bible David provincially wrote, “Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy” (Psalm 30: 5). He wrote a majority of these heartfelt psalms. Like us, David describes his depression as being a pit. But, he also knew God’s promise of deliverance despite his present despair.
Our emotional and spiritual life is full of peaks and valleys, and we want immediate relief and answers. But, often, as with David, the Lord calls us to wait, which is the hardest part. Look ahead to the future. There is a way out. Thank God for where he will take you!
If you are worried about a loved one with depression, know how to recognize the symptoms of depression and worsening depression, offer emotional and practical support, and know what to do if suicide seems likely. Speak to the person about their symptoms and feelings, and encourage them to seek treatment from a psychologist or counselor.
This is an excerpt from the book: I'm God's GIrl? Why Can't I Feel It? Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com.htlm for inspiration, Scripture and help.
In the Bible David provincially wrote, “Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy” (Psalm 30: 5). He wrote a majority of these heartfelt psalms. Like us, David describes his depression as being a pit. But, he also knew God’s promise of deliverance despite his present despair.
Our emotional and spiritual life is full of peaks and valleys, and we want immediate relief and answers. But, often, as with David, the Lord calls us to wait, which is the hardest part. Look ahead to the future. There is a way out. Thank God for where he will take you!
If you are worried about a loved one with depression, know how to recognize the symptoms of depression and worsening depression, offer emotional and practical support, and know what to do if suicide seems likely. Speak to the person about their symptoms and feelings, and encourage them to seek treatment from a psychologist or counselor.
This is an excerpt from the book: I'm God's GIrl? Why Can't I Feel It? Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com.htlm for inspiration, Scripture and help.
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