The Problem with Perfectionism

Negative thinking says, I must be painstakingly competent and perfect in order to consider myself worthwhile. I must work hard to be loved. Add to that: I am a perfectionist.

We live in a world that defines a person's value and worth by productivity. How much we get done and how well we do it are the benchmarks of a successful day. This doesn't come without a cost. One of the leading causes of depression is having standards so high you cannot live up to them.

Defined as anxious slavery or slow suicide, perfectionists feel they need to prove their value to avoid the threat of rejection. Guilty!

There is a certain amount of tension in every Christian's mind concerning the biblical call to perfection. In one compartment of the brain there's a tug to live up to all the standards of Christ, but then on the other side, our attempts to measure up to those standards are always flawed.

As a ministry leader often I find myself falling back into the perfection rut, feeling I have to meet some very high expectations. What has been very freeing to me is to realize that when God called me to ministry he knew what he was getting. A couple months down the road he didn’t say, “Bad decision. I shouldn’t have called her!” Companies say that. People say that. Not God. That’s the freedom of grace. You are already completely acceptable to God as imperfect as you are. Thank you Jesus!

God defines personhood and success very differently than our culture does. The measure of our life is not where we live, how we look, or how well we sew or cook. From his perspective, success is measured by what kind of person we are, even in the midst of life's challenges.

God’s grace is greater than our imperfections, than our sin, and far greater than Satan (Rom. 5:20-21). “Christ redeemed [freed] us from the curse of the law [the curse of perfectionism] by becoming a curse for us” (Gal. 3:13, my emphasis). Jesus Christ became (past tense) the curse for us, freeing us from all perfectionistic law traps. Perfection means a perfect union with God for which we were created.

Banish the perfectionista in you! James 3:2 proclaims we all stumble in many ways. Nobody, apart from God, is perfect. People will always fail, disappoint and hurt us. We will make mistakes, even humiliate ourselves. God gives us an incredible gift when we become his daughter—grace. Today, give yourself grace.

If perfectionism has lead to significant problems with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or difficulties in your relationships, you may want to consider working through one of the books I’ve written: http://www.olivebranchoutreach.com/shopping.htm

You may want to seek expert help from an experienced mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. Your family doctor is a good place to start if you are looking for a referral.

This is an excerpt from “Breaking the Cover Girl Mask.”