Old thinking says: I can do it by myself! Or, we may use Scarlett O’Hara’s method of dealing with reality (Gone With The Wind): “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” God is challenging us not to go this alone. We need him and other people. Think and pray about beginning to connect with friends and church if you aren’t doing so. A small fellowship group or Bible study is an excellent resource for sharing, encouragement, and comfort. God wants all of us to be in an environment where we can experience his love through our relationships with other believers.
Secondly, you may feel now is the time to talk to a professional therapist. A special notation if you are coping with sexual abuse: you may believe because the abuse happened decades ago, there is nothing you can do about it now. Ignoring painful feelings may have been adaptive at the time the abuse happened (a child lacks control over the abuse). However, continuing to avoid bad feelings as an adult can lead women to stay in painful situations. Ignoring the abuse can put you at further risk for depression.
Guidelines for finding a counselor:
Seek a counselor that is Christian, or offers a spirituality component. Locate a counselor who takes the opportunity to take you to the Word of God, to teach you about the character and ways of God, to help you see the necessity of total surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord. Charles Stanley said, “If it’s (psychotherapy) not based on the Word of God, all you have is just somebody’s opinion, you have some ways or some steps, but apart from God, they’re still depending upon themselves. If you leave God out of it, it becomes: "what can I do?"
Ask for a personal referral. Ideally, try to get a recommendation from a therapist's client. If you can't find that, ask your doctor or pastor for a few names. Look for a licensed psychologist, social worker, or family therapist who shares your values and faith (psychiatrists typically don't do much counseling).
Evaluate. After your first visit, ask yourself: Did I feel heard and valued? Did I feel comfortable? If you answer no to any of these, keep searching for the right fit. It may be a good idea to give a therapist a second chance if you feel hurt or upset.
Finances and logistics. Is this counselor covered by your insurance policy? Is the cost doable? Typically, psychologists are most expensive, followed by social workers and family therapists. Is the office location convenient for you?
This is an excerpt from the devotional book: I’m God’s Girl? Why Can’t I Feel It?
Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.
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