I was seventeen years old and obsessed with the thin-is-beautiful syndrome. Isn't that what TV, Hollywood and all the magazine adds tell us? If I'm thin I’ll be beautiful, glamorous and happy. But the image of perfection created by our culture soon became a monster that controlled my life.
A friend told me how I could eat anything I wanted, lose however much weight as I wanted to and then not gain an ounce. It was so simple, just by self-induced vomiting. Within months bulimia became my choice of weight control, an effective eight management tool. As the pressures of college increased and I ate to relieve the pressure, my bulimia got worse. I added other popular tools to stay slim, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, laxatives and diuretics all came to my aid.
After years of effort to create a perfect body instead I created a monster that controlled my life. I saw myself as I was, by day Ms. Jekyll, a college graduate and a smart business woman on the move. By night the Monster Hyde, consumed pounds and pounds of food only to be followed by the high drama of a bathroom purge--head in toilet and other forms of elimination. For seventeen years this monster called bulimia tortured me. With a many-stranded whip made of guilt, shame, fear, worthlessness, weakness and self-hatred I scourged myself.
One day I met a godly man who invited me to church. There I faced the truth of who I was and how I dishonored the God-given-gift of a healthy body. This marvelous creation was designed to be a temple of the Living God. I made a cesspool of it.
In bitter confession, humble repentance and faith-filled acceptance I gave my life to Jesus Christ, claimed him as my Lord and Savior. I asked forgiveness for self-centered pride and desire for popularity. I begged God for strength to win the battle over this self-created monster.
Soon a strange thing came into view--I began to have a never-before desire to do crafts. My mind shifted from being thin and beautiful to being creative and productive. Without realizing it, food took a lesser place and the need to purge let up. A desire grew in me to honor God with all I had and was. I hungered to grow spiritually, which I did with the help of my friend and my church family. Something else grew--a desire within me to help others who were being held captive by this gluttonous and tingeing monster. I became an inspirational speaker and founder of an eating disorder ministry called “Olive
Branch Outreach.”
Now I'm advertised as “A Bulimia Survivor.” It’s said of me, “Today Kim reaches out to hundreds of women to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ, and to make Him known by presenting Biblical solutions and teachings as part of her food-disorder healing ministry.” In 2007 “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” was published, a healing bible study for women with eating disorders.
God turned my life-threatening food disorder into a pathway to service. I pray others escape this life-threatening monster. I praise God for his miracle in my life and that I can pass it on to others. God is good an has a plan and purpose for everyone (Jeremiah 29:11).
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