Showing posts with label disordered eating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disordered eating. Show all posts

Friday, April 1, 2011

I want a different face!

I love the comedic comic character Maxine because she’s got a pulse on this culture and tells it like it is: “What’s new with you? Your boobs, your tush or your face?” We laugh yet reports indicate that the widespread availability of plastic surgery and the pervasive influence of reality shows focused on surgical makeovers are having a profound effect on the self-worth of young people, especially girls.

In her quest for a better body image, twenty-three-year-old reality star Heidi Montag unveiled on MTV’s The Hills’ sixth season premiere the effect of plastic surgery addiction. Obsessed with perfect, Heidi had ten procedures done on one day, all in an effort to convert herself into a real, live Barbie doll. This story crowded the Obamas off the cover of People magazine.

No doubt this type of programming encourages young viewers to pursue cosmetic surgery. More young people are considering cosmetic procedures to fulfill their dreams because most media coverage about plastic surgery is very flattering. According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the most common procedure performed on people eighteen and younger was rhinoplasty (a nose job), but liposuction procedures and breast augmentations have greatly increased.

Society worships the physical body more than the soul. Scripture says that God has put a sense of eternity in people's minds. “Yet, mortals still can't grasp what God is doing from the beginning to the end of time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11, God’s Word). I believe the amount of emotion and energy poured into desiring plastic surgery is a way that person is tempting to fill that soul-hole which can only be filled by God.

The Bible says, “It's your life that must change, not your skin… What counts is your life” (Luke 3:8-9, MSG). Many psychologists say it's a myth that how you feel about yourself is related to how you actually look. Our value does not rest in looking a particular way. Celebrate every scar, every birthmark, and every flaw because each of them tells a piece of the story of who you are. Often counseling, encouragement and some lessons in makeup and beauty is all a person needs.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

My story: Saving Opheila

Ophelia, in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, illustrates the destructive forces affecting young women. Ophelia is a typical girl, footloose and fancy-free. But she loses herself in adolescence. She falls in love with Hamlet and lives only for his approval. She doesn’t have a relationship with God and the insight of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct her, so she lives merely to meet Hamlet’s and her father’s demands. Who she is, her value, is determined solely by their approval, and she is torn apart. She goes mad with grief. Elegantly dressed, tragically she drowns in a stream filled with flowers.

For twenty years I lived an Ophelia existence. I attempted to take control of my mind, yet I couldn’t conquer the addiction to food, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, and my promiscuous behavior. As a kid, our family moved quite a bit. The first move from America to London, England. I was teased by schoolmates because I didn’t fit into the culture. I was unlike them because I had an accent. I felt stupid because I needed a tutor. I was weird because my clothes were different. Weirdo! What I heard was, “You do not belong” and “You are not accepted.”

We moved back to America when I was twelve. Again I was weird and different, but now I was entering adolescence—the hurricane years. The pain of rejection became part of my normal thought process. I expected people not to like me. We moved several more times. I fell in with the wild crowd, feeling the pressure to fit in. I smoked cigarettes and tried alcohol and drugs. This group gave me a sense of belonging and a means to forget the rejection and losses.

Then I began to gravitate into a new world of worshipping celebrities and models. I believed the lie that to be popular you have to look like a model. Teen magazines say, Don’t worry about being good, worry about looking good and being socially accepted!

As a teen I pretty much turned off my God-given talents and gifts in search of the Western culture’s definition of ideal. I set my sights on being a super model.
When I announced this in my sixth-grade class, a few boys laughed, “Yeah, you’ll be a supermodel…for MAD Magazine.” Translation, You’re ugly. Give it up! I didn’t give it up. I’d do anything to be a beautiful super model or celebrity. And why not? In this culture celebrity and beauty has its rewards. This was the beginning of what I call the Cover Girl masquerade . . . and the spiral downwards began.

The spiral began innocently enough with a simple diet. My senior year in high school I lost fifteen pounds and looked remarkable. I received compliments and praise from my parents and friends…and I wanted more. I felt accepted and loved. I belong! Now I’ll be popular! The disordered eating thought process began in high school but exploded when I entered college and joined a sorority.

Before I knew it I was a full-blown bulimic, a disease that took over my life. I wish someone had said to me, “Great, you’re now a size six. There are a million other size sixes out there. What’s different about you? What is about you, Kimberly the person, that shines?” That would have stung a little, but hopefully have pointed me towards working on my inside. Instead, I worked tirelessly trying to conform to this culture’s image of the stick, thin woman.

As I grew into adulthood, my self-esteem continued to deteriorate. Clearly, by bingeing and purging I was self-medicating—the stress, anxieties, and pain. And then my body started desiring and needing the alcohol. Alcohol abuse usually leads to inappropriate sexual behavior. I couldn’t stop the promiscuity. I did what I thought I should do in order to be accepted. Again, I justified it. Everyone else is sleeping around. It was a way to fill the hole in my heart. But it only deepened the wounds of shame, humiliation, and abandonment.

I eventually got pregnant and chose to have an abortion—another demon o deal with. I had a major life choice to grapple with--to bring this baby to term, or abort it. There was no doubt in my mind that abortion was the answer. After all, I wasn’t married, I had an established lifestyle, and I would have brought embarrassment and shame upon my parents. When I chose abortion, I was really choosing to purge my baby, like the food I ate. I could clearly see that at that time in my life I didn’t value myself, so how could I value my baby’s life? You could say the monster bulimia took two innocent lives. After I had the abortion, I chose to bury this experience like a wrecked ship, on the bottom of an ocean.

Like Ophelia, I was in danger of drowning. It was beginning to look like a life or death situation. It was vital I be revived. I needed someone to point me to Jesus Christ. “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears” (Ps. 18:6).

God sent that person and he took me to church. Jesus walked into my messed up life and a couple months later I was saved. The Bible says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9).

Jesus pronounced, “Daughter, You’re free to go. I’ve done the time for you (Acts 2; 2 Cor. 3:17). Now go and tell the world what you have experienced.” The shackles melted. Evil evaporated. Jesus will always meet us right where we are at. We don’t have to be good enough, smart enough or religious enough to earn an audience with him. We can have a personal, intimate relationship with the God Almighty.

My identity changed because God adopted me into his family. God took all my guilty acts and thoughts, and placed them on Jesus. At that moment, he said, “Kimberly, you are forgiven. Every offense is wiped from your record.” God forgives and forgets—completely, and I became righteous—perfect before God. No external makeover can compare to the internal makeover we receive from Jesus Christ!

Excerpt from Kimberly’s book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts






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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Stopping an Eating Disorder in Its Tracks

This week I came across a blog with this header: “How to stop bulimia nervosa for good.” The author said the answer was: “Hypnosis is an effective treatment that can help guide you to quit this eating disorder for good.” I’m not putting down hypnosis, and even if this method works for some people, the underlying symptom(s) has not been addressed. Chances are great there will be a relapse.

Without addressing a person’s distorted perceptions, her understanding of her own identity, the work of Jesus Christ, and how she can truly resolve anger and forgive others, there is no real freedom. God has specific processes for setting people free. Disordered eating is very serious, and God is the only One who can truly set a person free for good.

Anybody suffering from unhealthy eating patterns and low self-esteem needs unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness. She needs to acknowledge:

1. What her actual view of God is (the Great Physician)and how to correct a distorted view of God and herself
2. Who she is--seeing herself the way that God sees her, in Christ
3. How to confront the heart of anger and then truly forgive others
4. Why suffering isn’t pleasant, but is part of the growth & redemption process
5. Nutritional keys to healing and creating a binge-free life
6. How God will free her from this and other behaviors that have power over her life

Every person’s road to recovery is different. I was set free permanently after walking through these steps (written in the book: I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It? by Kimberly Davidson) and changing my lifestyle. If you struggle with an ED, you, too, have the same hope.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Recovered from Bulimia: this blogger’s story

I was seventeen years old and obsessed with the thin-is-beautiful syndrome. Isn't that what TV, Hollywood and all the magazine adds tell us? If I'm thin I’ll be beautiful, glamorous and happy. But the image of perfection created by our culture soon became a monster that controlled my life.

A friend told me how I could eat anything I wanted, lose however much weight as I wanted to and then not gain an ounce. It was so simple, just by self-induced vomiting. Within months bulimia became my choice of weight control, an effective eight management tool. As the pressures of college increased and I ate to relieve the pressure, my bulimia got worse. I added other popular tools to stay slim, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, laxatives and diuretics all came to my aid.

After years of effort to create a perfect body instead I created a monster that controlled my life. I saw myself as I was, by day Ms. Jekyll, a college graduate and a smart business woman on the move. By night the Monster Hyde, consumed pounds and pounds of food only to be followed by the high drama of a bathroom purge--head in toilet and other forms of elimination. For seventeen years this monster called bulimia tortured me. With a many-stranded whip made of guilt, shame, fear, worthlessness, weakness and self-hatred I scourged myself.
One day I met a godly man who invited me to church. There I faced the truth of who I was and how I dishonored the God-given-gift of a healthy body. This marvelous creation was designed to be a temple of the Living God. I made a cesspool of it.

In bitter confession, humble repentance and faith-filled acceptance I gave my life to Jesus Christ, claimed him as my Lord and Savior. I asked forgiveness for self-centered pride and desire for popularity. I begged God for strength to win the battle over this self-created monster.

Soon a strange thing came into view--I began to have a never-before desire to do crafts. My mind shifted from being thin and beautiful to being creative and productive. Without realizing it, food took a lesser place and the need to purge let up. A desire grew in me to honor God with all I had and was. I hungered to grow spiritually, which I did with the help of my friend and my church family. Something else grew--a desire within me to help others who were being held captive by this gluttonous and tingeing monster. I became an inspirational speaker and founder of an eating disorder ministry called “Olive
Branch Outreach.”

Now I'm advertised as “A Bulimia Survivor.” It’s said of me, “Today Kim reaches out to hundreds of women to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ, and to make Him known by presenting Biblical solutions and teachings as part of her food-disorder healing ministry.” In 2007 “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” was published, a healing bible study for women with eating disorders.

God turned my life-threatening food disorder into a pathway to service. I pray others escape this life-threatening monster. I praise God for his miracle in my life and that I can pass it on to others. God is good an has a plan and purpose for everyone (Jeremiah 29:11).

Thursday, April 8, 2010

A Source of Negative Thinking

Last week I talked about how toxic thinking is influenced by three different, but related, ways: through the world, through spiritual warfare, and through our own flesh--our own nature.Today I want to focus on how “the world” can be a source of negative thinking. “The world” touches everyone in many different ways. Worldliness is the attitude that places, self, or things at the center of one’s aspirations and activities.

Secular usually means “belonging to this age or this world.” Worldliness, or secularism, is a worldview or lifestyle oriented toward the irreligious rather than the sacred, towards the natural rather than supernatural. It is the ungodly aspects of our culture, peer pressure, values, traditions, what is in, what is uncool, customs, philosophies and attitudes.
Secularism is guilty of having “exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator” (Romans 1:25).

Although believers are told not to be conformed to this world (Rom. 12:2) we nonetheless are influenced by it. Most Christians live in two different worlds: the one on Sunday morning and the one that includes rest of the week. In practice, both worlds clash. Our disposition, temperament and habits are manipulated through the workplace, media and entertainment industries, advertising, the education system, peer groups; world views and philosophies. No doubt our minds are more at risk now than ever.

If we follow the world’s ways, we miss God’s blessings. Jesus’s disciple John said, “Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father” (1 John 2:15, Msg).

This is an excerpt from the book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Holiday Help for Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge Eating Sufferers

I suffered from bulima for 17 years and I know how hard the holidays are--physically, mentally, and realtionally. These are some things that have worked for me and others:

1. Spend the holidays with the people who love you—people who build you up and not tear you down. Share your observations. Help and encourage one another. [And if you love someone with an eating disorder, get in touch. Don’t let them spend this time alone.]

2. If you have to spend time with family members who trigger the worst in you, journal your thoughts and insights. One way to begin breaking down a wall is through journaling. Many have found writing helpful in coming to terms with the past, or processing fresh pain. Suggested entries: Thoughts and Emotions; Physical Sensations; What you did; What you could do next time.

3. Keep track of your goals before you head out to grandma's house—journal them. Write out and track your overall plans, nutrition plan and your thoughts about it.

4. Memorize Scripture. Write it on a card & carry it with you [or use a scripture memorization program like Memlok.]

5. Tis’ the season to be grateful: to gain perspective. Carla told me she’d write down 5 things each night that Ishe was thankful for... "helped me see that my focus on food/eating/starving/weight was really pointless, and to look at what I have that so many people don't have in this world. It helped get the focus off of ME (the eating disorder's focus on ME has really messed up my perspective)."

6. Check out my website: www.olivebranchoutreach.com/edindex.htlm for lots of inspiration, Scripture and help.

7. For Christ-based help consider working through one of the books I’ve written: http://www.olivebranchoutreach.com/shopping.htm

· I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It? Daily Encouragement to Promote Healthy Eating and Positive Self-Esteem
· I’m God’s Girl? Why Can’t I Feel It? Daily Biblical Encouragmeent to Defeat Depression & the Blues
· Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts


Merry Christmas!

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." — Luke 2:13-14